Harry Potter Madness
by pixii-stixii
Summary: This is a humorous fic about Harry and his friends and.. er- madness! ^___^ Just read it!
1. chapter 1 : er teletubby?

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[disclaimer :: no I don't own this cast. J.K. Rowling does!! *claps for j.k.r.* she's brilliant eh?]

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CHAPTER UNO // er- teletubby?

"One day in one hundred acre woods there were two pot smoking-" The author said cheerily as she got cut off by a little boy in glasses.

"shove it" the little boy said with a glare.

"Hey I control you!" The author yelled.

The little boy [harry potter] had turned into a yellow monkey.

"AHH IT'S A MONKEY!" Ron yelled as he started running in circles and waving his arms around frantically.

Author: Har Har Har ^__^

Harry turned into himself again.

"You're frookin good" harry said to the author.

"WHEEEE" Hermione yelled as she rolled around on a tricycle.

Soon after that Ron got hungry.

"I'm hungry," ron stated.

The three plopped on their broomsticks but had no idea what would happen next.

And wouldn't you know it, it begins to rain macaroni.

  
"That's something you don't see everyday," said Harry looking in awe at the flying bits of macaroni.

"How am I suppose to fly through a storm of macaroni?" Ron said as he started choking on macaroni that flew in his mouth.

Ron: "gurgle, gurgle"

"oh no I think ron is dying." Hermione said dryly.

"Let's try a spell!" Harry said ecstatically. 

"bippity-bobbity-boo!" harry yelled as he pointed his wand at Ron.

Ron started doing and Irish dance on his broom stick.

"I didn't know you liked Irish dancers Potter.." said a voice from.. somewhere

"AHH IT'S DRACO RUN" Hermione shouted as she flew really fast and hid behind a mailbox

"Brilliant Hermione just make him mad why don't you?" Harry said as he scowled at hermione.

While Ron was irish dancing Draco decided that he was cold.

"It's cold… brr" Draco said while wrapping his arms around himself.

"He scares me Harry make the bad man stop looking at me!" Ron said as flew to where hermione was hiding.

"What are you all doing out in this macaroni storm?" Seamus said while he, Dean and Neville flew up to them.

"We're supposably going out to eat." Hermione said after she came out from behind the mailbox.

"Well lick a curly fry, so are we!" Dean announced.

"Let's all go together!!" Draco shrilled.

"YEAH!" Hermione said as she hugged Draco.

Soon after a big purple teletubby started flying after the crew in a bath towel.

"ohmigawd we're all gunna die!" Ron shouted.

"Look over there!" Harry said pointing to a bathtub on the ground.

Two Teletubbies were in it. They were yellow and green.

"AHHHH ATTACK OF THE TELETUBBIES!" Neville screamed.

"Look over there! ANOTHER ONE!" Dean yelled as he pointed to a red teletubby in a toilet flying around.

Hermione was blabbering on about teletubbies and was suddenly hit by a speeding coat rack.

"It wasn't me!" Neville yelled as he dropped 3 coats and a hat to fall to the..

"why isn't there a ground?" Ron said looking weary.

"God got mad at us for running from the attacking teletubbies?" Seamus suggested.

"Oh well!" They all said in unison.

"If we die Hermione.. I love you" Neville said to hermione.

"go away" hermione said scowling at Neville.

"It was worth a try.." Neville said staring at the ground. That wasn't there.

"Hey what's that?" Dean said pointing to a little planet looking thingy.

"It's a little planet looking thingy!" Ron stated.

"wow I would've never guessed." Harry said dimly.

Soon they were on a little planet.

"I think we're in the middle ages." Hermione stated.

"Lookie over here guys!" Dean said.

"Bloody hell Dean found a giant fuzzy caterpillar!" Ron yelled in joy.

They all jumped on the fuzzy caterpillar.

"WHEE!" Neville yelled and threw his arms in the air.

They were going about 1.3 m/h

"I could walk faster than this caterpillar running." Draco said as he jumped off of the big, fuzzy caterpillar.

They all jumped off of the caterpillar after Draco did and then walked into a restaurant.

"YAY FOOD!" Ron screamed. Suddenly he had heart attack.

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[a.n :: wasn't that glorious?? Har Har do read/review ^__^]


	2. chapter 2 : pokes a hobbit

[a.n :: Alright this chapter is kinda short.. but it was fun ^__^ yes fun chappie]

[disclaimer :: If I owned JK Rowling.. Then would I own Harry Potter?]

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CHAPTER TEW // *pokes a hobbit*

"How cute," Hermione said flushed. "Ron's dead."

"Yeah I know isn't it nice?" Draco smiled.

"LICK ME HOBBIT" Harry yelled as he ran around in circles with a toaster on his head.

"Are you calling me a hobbit?" Draco said confused.

They all turned and looked at Harry, besides ron whom was twitching everywhere. Harry was being attacked by a little hobbit with black curly hair.

"Eeeee!" another fat hobbit yelled as he jumped on Harry.

Soon a hot elf appeared.

"Go away you curly headed little rodents!" The hot elf yelled to the hobbits.

"wow thanks hot elf" Harry said.

"anytime kid" the hot elf put on a car salesman's voice and face and patted Harry on the head where his toaster was sitting.

Suddenly a little bell went ding dong.

Little bell: "DING DONG!"

"LUNCH TIME" the hot elf yelled and scurried off.

All of a sudden hobbits started crowding into the restaurant. They were loon hobbits I tell you.

"Oh dear they're gunna eat us." Neville said while waving his arms in the air.

"Sheeee woooore annnn ITSY BITSY, TINY WEENIE, YELLOW POLKADOT BAKINI" Draco sang as he started running around the restaurant and throwing plastic cups at hobbits.

Hobbit go "meep meep!"

"Wow hobbits are sexy." Ginny said as she popped in through a door in the restaurant.

"AH this place is freakin psycho let's go to Chinatown" Harry said as he made his way to the door.

A big tree: "and Chinatown in Britain will be less psycho how?"

Hobbit -whom-loves-Ron: "NEVER!" 

The hobbit grabs Ron's leg and cuddles up with it.

Hobbit -whom-loves-ron: "I'M GOING TO KEEP YOU AND CALL YOU FREDFORT"

"Oh well aren't you Special Ed" Seamus said to the Hobbit who was now humping Ron's leg.

"Great OKAY isn't there a law against this? GET A ROOM!" Dean yelled. He was making cookies with pink and purple icing. 

Hobbit go: "yum yum"

Neville was in a corner with a VERY small hobbit. He bent down and poked it in the eye.

After 500,289 pokes later the midget hobbit (if there is such a thing as any living object being that short) decided to run away.

"I think it died" Harry said as he lifted a toaster he threw at the hobbit-whom-USED-TO-love-ron.

"Good job Harry" Seamus said he he pouted on the floor. "Now they're all going to burn us a rip out our tongues and eat our juicy appendixes and dance around our bodies I the moonlight and-"

"ALIGHT that's enough" Hermione yelled.

Hobbit sings the song "Dancing in the Moonlight"

Ginny poked the dead hobbit and the hobbit shot up and sang "la la la la la, it goes around the world just la la la la la." And then it died again.

Then Ginny poked it again. And again. And again.

"Alright now it's time to go." Draco said while throwing tortillas chips at a little hobbit that was dancing.

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[A.N :: What a chapter lol. I'll try to make the future one's longer. My internet is out right now so I have nothing to do besides WRITE!]


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